I admit, Soul Health is an ideal. It is something to strive for—a vision to work toward in our never-ending “condition” that humans experience every second of every day. Reaching soul health is, undoubtedly, a process, not a destination.
So, why present a model of optimal living that is difficult to attain? Simply put, because we are evolutionary creatures on an evolutionary path.
The biggest questions that most people face include, “Why can’t I stay on track with a healthy lifestyle?”, “How do I overcome the urge to cheat on my diet?”, “What will it take to get me to exercise?”, “When will I stop spending so much money?”, “Why can’t I get motivated to change my life?”, “What makes me stay in an unhealthy marriage or relationship?”, or “How come I can’t leave an awful job?” I’m sure you can think of a few of your own questions that leave you puzzled and confused.
Let me hit the nail on the head for you….. The bottom line leads to a lack of self-love. Cliché or not, the less you love and care for yourself, the less you take the steps necessary to meet your goals—and in essence, the less you will evolve. This is why we return to old patterns as well as why we never really get started in changing them from the beginning.
Why do you put that extra piece of chocolate in your mouth? Because you care more about the sensation of eating it than you do loving yourself.
What makes you sit on the couch instead of getting up to go for a walk? Because you are having a love affair with the couch instead of with you.
How do you get yourself into debt time and time again? Once again, because you care more about the items you are buying more than you do your sense of financial security, and consequently, your overall well-being.
The questions could go on, but the answer will always be the same. We resist our evolution because we don’t love ourselves enough to move ahead.
As I said today to a client, and have said many, many times before– fear always precedes transformation. It is natural to feel uncomfortable when we are facing change, particularly when we are trying to outgrow something that no longer fits us or our needs. We often choose to fall back into the comfort of an old pattern (no matter how uncomfortable this pattern might make us feel!) rather than face the distress of taking a step forward into a healthier unknown.
So, how do you step into self-love to overcome your challenges? Here are a few suggestions:
- Next time you go to the cupboard to eat when you’re not hungry, ask yourself, “Will I love myself more or less after I consume this?” Then choose the path to love and walk away.
- When you are hemming and hawing about hitting the gym, ask, “What would I feel best about doing by the end of the day—exercising or not exercising? Then grab your bag and go.
- Give yourself a little self-love nudge when someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do by questioning, “What would be the best thing for me regardless of what someone else wants?” Then pat yourself on the back for saying “no”.
- The next time you need some time to yourself, but have a lot to do, inquire, “What would feed my soul more—to take some time writing in my journal on the back porch or finish up the dirty dishes?”
Hopefully, your brain is scanning the various ways you resist your own evolution. We all do it and, yet, we are all left with regret and frustration as a result of doing so. Be honest… there’s something you’ve been putting off for the sake of others… Or something you haven’t felt worthy enough to claim for yourself…. Or something you long to do but think it would be selfish to do for yourself.
Whether or not loving yourself is a foreign concept, remember that the only guarantee in life is that self-love—without fail—will ensure your soul’s evolution. And that always leads to optimal health.